It all started as one of my ‘bucket list’ ideas – sailing the British Virgin Islands. My sailing friend Jim Copple had chartered boats there before. We thought of others who might want to join us, to help crew on a large sail boat and share the charter costs.
When soon thought of Gerald Smith, Gary Morsch, and Franklin Cook – each agreed to the adventure, and we were off sailing through the islands of the BVI. Before long we recognized that something else was happening; as enjoyable as sailing in the BVI was, the trip had become much more than sailing.
Each of us, with unique leadership responsibilities, began to share interests, ideas, and advice. The conversations, other than how to sail, were unplanned, spontaneous, about anything of mutual interest.
This past March, four of the original five, and now including Bob Sloan, returned to the BVI sailing to some of the same island destinations, mooring or anchoring in the evenings and going ashore for meals and meaningful conversation around agreed upon topics. These were our big ideas!
This time I took along Daniel Klein’s little book ‘Travels with Epicurus’ rereading some of the best advice I know of on aging. His reflections include ‘On Freeing Ourselves From the Prison of Everyday Affairs’ and ‘On The Pleasures Of Companionship In Old Age.’
Following his retirement Klein wrote the book about his return to places he first visited as a young man in the Greek Islands. There he observed something wonderful - an older man with his companions at a restaurant table ‘without wanting anything from them.’
‘Wanting nothing from one’s friends,’ writes Klein, ‘is fundamentally different from the orientation of a person who is still immersed in professional life with its relationships.”
On the job, however friendly we may be to one another, ‘we are,’ claims Klein, ‘in service of a goal that has little if nothing to do with genuine friendship’.
It was upon his retirement, when he was no longer a boss, nor had a boss, that he and his friends became the “ends” rather than “a means to an end”. It was then he discovered the ‘pleasures of companionship with friends” - for no reason other than being together.
However, I don’t think we need to wait until retirement for genuine friendship. In the course of busy lives, when we take time ‘to free ourselves from the prison of everyday affairs,’ we can discover the pleasures of companionship at any age and at any place in life.
That’s what we have discovered on our voyages to the BVI and several other destinations since. We set aside the time and go to the expense of meeting for no other reason than to be together. It is so rewarding, and as soon as the week ends we are already planning for the next time these companions can be together.
Fair winds and following seas, my friends.